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November 17, 2017

Motherhood has defined my life. Even before I became a mother myself.

Ever since I can remember I’ve felt that it was impossible for people to understand me without understanding my mother. Our relationship was messy, overwhelming and profound. When she died her absence...

November 17, 2017

Dear August,

I am writing you this letter from the front room over our house on Collins Street, the house that will be your first home. I’m exactly 32 weeks pregnant. It’s raining harder than I’ve ever seen it rain in Los Angeles. We’re supposed to get a lot of rain thi...

November 17, 2017

I gasp and shake my shoulders trying to dislodge the feeling that I’m drowning.

I place one hand on my chest to steady my heart beat. The knuckles on my other hand are white from gripping the steering wheel. It hits me like I’m hearing it for the first time even though...

November 16, 2017

“How long will it take?” I used to wonder in the first few days after my mom’s suicide, “How long will it take before I can’t remember what she said in our last phone call? How long will it take before I struggle to remember her smile, her laugh, her scent?”

When my mom...

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